i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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