my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
