if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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