I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You were trust falling into bushes
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize