The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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