we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
