dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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