My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
