she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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