I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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