Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
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