Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
