the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
