god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
