i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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