yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize