my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
A+ Viking dick
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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