p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
