I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
