I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
