they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
