Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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