Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
