Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
