she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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