Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
