@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
