the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize