just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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