He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
