Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
