in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
