dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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