I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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