Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
