finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm both gender and math confused
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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