Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
