Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
