FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
we should paint friendship bongs
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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