we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
