never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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