Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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