this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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