I wanna passion pit in your ass
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
