The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Will exercising make me less horny?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
