another moral hangover. fuck.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
