Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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