I want you more than these girls want KFC
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
