So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
