Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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