it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
