Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
