Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
