how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
