i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
