just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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