Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
