i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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