no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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