Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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