she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
