I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
