We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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