i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
