I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize