Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just want nice things and good sex
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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