I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
