threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
