the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Even my vagina gasped.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
