you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize