Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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