in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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