I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think people are normalizing furries
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