It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
