Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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