im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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