I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
