I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
